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"What
is placed in a child's brain during the first six years of life is
probably there to stay.... it is extremely difficult to erase it."
- Dr. Glen Doman
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - Fourth Edition (DSM-IV), number 300.14:
Dissociative Identity Disorder- Formerly Known As MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder)
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The
presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states each
with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to,
and thinking about the environment. At least two of these identities or
personality states recurrently take control of the person's behavior.
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Inability to recall important personal information that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness.
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The
disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a
substance (e.g., blackouts or chaotic behavior during Alcohol
Intoxication) or a general medical condition (e.g., complex partial
seizures). Note: In children, the symptoms are not attributable to
imaginary playmates or other fantasy play.
Diagnosis Guidelines
Guidelines for Diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder
Dissociative
Identity Disorder reflects a failure to integrate various aspects of
identity, memory, and consciousness. Each personality state may be
experienced as if it has a distinct personal history, self-image, and
identity, including a separate name. Usually there is a primary
identity that carries the individual's given name and is passive,
dependent, guilty, and depressed. The alternate identities frequently
have different names and characteristics that contrast with the primary
identity (e.g., are hostile, controlling, and self-destructive).
Particular identities may emerge in specific circumstances and may
differ in reported age and gender, vocabulary, general knowledge, or
predominant affect. Alternate identities are experienced as taking
control in sequence, one at the expense of the other, and may deny
knowledge of one another, be critical of one another, or appear to be
in open conflict. Occasionally, one or more powerful identities
allocate time to the others. Aggressive or hostile identities may at
times interrupt activities or place the others in uncomfortable
situations.
Individuals
with this disorder experience frequent gaps in memory for personal
history, both remote and recent. The amnesia is frequently
asymmetrical. The more passive identities tend to have more constricted
memories, whereas the more hostile, controlling, or "protector"
identities have more complete memories. An identity that is not in
control may nonetheless gain access to consciousness by producing
auditory or visual hallucinations (e.g., a voice giving instructions).
Evidence of amnesia may be uncovered by reports from others who have
witnessed behavior that is disavowed by the individual or by the
individual's own discoveries (e.g., finding items of clothing at home
that the individual cannot remember having bought). There may be loss
of memory not only for recurrent periods of time, but also an overall
loss of biographical memory for some extended period of childhood.
Transitions among identities are often triggered by psychosocial
stress. The time required to switch from one identity to another is
usually a matter of seconds, but, less frequently, may be gradual. The
number of identities reported ranges from 2 to more than 100. Half of reported cases include individuals with 10 or fewer identities.
This page and website is not meant to help you diagnose yourself or someone you know. The design of this website is to educate those who already know they are multiple, or help someone who is multiple.
Let me say right away that I am very much aware of the massive numbers of fakers out there. There's nothing I can do about that. I sure don't want to give one of these impressionable people ideas on how to affect DID, but to help those of us who are the genuine article, I feel this information is necessary. If you are not diagnosed, please do not ask people on the net if they think you are multiple. You don't want and shouldn't want to be one.
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Common Terminology
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In
your research you will come across many different terms, and some may
be conflicting, while most are simply confusing. There is already a
multiple dictionary of sorts, and here is the link: http://www.darkpersonalities.net/content/?p=4 .
I offer this for information purposes only; I do not agree with all
theories presented. Here are some terms you'll see on this site:
Insider:
Term used for those that are not currently fronting, meaning everyone
inside. This is an alternate term for parts, alters, fragments, and so
on. I use the term alter on this site loosely, for clarification
purposes only (I do not call those in the House alters).
Inner World:
On this site, inner world means the inner environment insiders live in
(in the unconsciousness) when not fronting. It does not mean an
alternate dimension.
Blackout multiple: A multiple that loses time when others take front.
Frags:
Fragmentary personalities. These are insiders that are not whole
beings. They: 1) usually live for one brief purpose, or 2) were a
"mode" that was only used briefly and never fully developed into a
whole alter, or 3) exist are scenery or something to interact with
while inside. In case #3, they might have histories and a personality
and act of their own accord, but are not a part of one's personal
house, family, clan, or other name adopted for the integral part of
your system. They may not integrate well or at all, and if forced to
integrate, it may be inconsequential. You might as well integrate
inner trees.
Modes:
Described on co-con page. These are the mentalities needed to exist
and survive in different environments that, in the case of multiples,
have the potential to develop into full alters.
Integration:
On this site, integration is described as the act of a natural merging
of insiders, one or two at a time. It is not forced or used as a way
to "get rid of" alters; it is something only the insiders desiring to
be merged do, when all parties involved are willing. Natural
integration is the only solid integration that will last through future
stresses and have no unpleasant side effects.
Sharing front:
This means when more than one insider is fronting at the same time,
whether they are aware of it or not. The traits of both (or more)
insiders show forth at the same time. Sometimes referred to on other
sites as "riding shotgun".
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If you are trying to come to terms with your own diagnosis, be gentle with yourself. You are not crazy, broken, bad, unlikeable, or unlovable.
During this time of relearning who you are and seeing yourself
differently, you're going to be thinking a lot of disparaging thoughts
about yourself. Healing itself is a messy process, and you will make many mistakes along the way. As long as you are healing and improving, it's all for the best. It's okay. Repeat to yourself lots of encouraging self talk. I know this time may be upsetting and scary, but there is hope and healing, and being multiple is the gateway to that healing.
Some call this MPGift, instead of disorder. The Co-Con page will help you change the Disorder to Order. Once there is order and you have a loving, caring, respectful relationship with everyone inside, you will find that this is indeed a gift.
You are still the same person you were before you found out you were multiple. You have intrinsic worth to your family, friends, and community. You may be more emotionally fragile for a time, but that will pass and you will be so much stronger than you ever were before.
You can be who you want to be, your ideal self.
Work with a therapist and even your spiritual healer (never forget to go to the appropriate doctor: physician for your body, therapist for your mind, spiritual leader for your soul- all affected parts of you need to be addressed) to meet your personal goals. Read books on child abuse and healing. Take your time in your process of healing. It takes time, and it won't work well if you press it too hard.
Appreciate all those within. Be open to listen to what each one has to teach you, because they each have a valuable lesson to impart. Listen, encourage, and allow them their own room to grow and heal. Your first hurdle will be convincing them that you are safe and that they can relax and let down their guard. When you value them, you will learn to value yourself. You'll be amazed at what you can and have already accomplished in this life.
Use art to express everyone's pain, thoughts, ideas, talents, and creativity.
Keep a sense of humor. Some of those inside will probably have a sense of humor as well. Laughter makes everyone feel good and lets them know things are okay, there is no danger, and fosters a more trusting relationship between yourself and them. Don't take everything so seriously. I once had to tell the kids inside "No" to an overly sugary cereal at the store, and watched my hand move by itself to pick up the box and put it in the cart, completely independent of my own will. My face must have been priceless. There's no helping it; I laughed. I bought the cereal anyway. This is being gentle with yourself and having a positive attitude, which makes all the difference.
Once you get to know and love those inside, you may not feel so eager to integrate and "get rid of them". You'll miss them. You may mourn them as much as you would mourn the passing of a friend. The comfort you'll take is that they will be a part of you, and not entirely gone: not all the way. This is all part of learning to love and appreciate yourself.
You are who you want to be, and not what anyone tells you that you are. You may have been told that you were a lot of rotten things by people that should have been loving to you while growing up, but just because it was said or repeated does not mean it is true.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you
have a right to be here.
-Desiderata
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