As each new person comes forth, fill in a system map and identify each person's past role and work out who can act as guardians/protectors and all other kinds of roles.  Not every insider makes a good wife or mother.  Some systems can get along great with the traditional role names of host, protector, inner-self-helper, etc. but be careful you don't force someone into a role that you perceive them as.  This can lead to chaos and confusion and lack of trust, not to mention stress.  Also remember that some can have multiple roles, and there can be many people that can fill common roles.  It's not a rule that there must be just one host, as an example.  Create a team where everyone's needs, strengths, and aspirations are addressed.  Kids can be inner-self-helpers and protectors (part-time, not full-time), but not hosts.

The second step to co-con is to hold more than one personality front at a time.  You do so similarly described in the first paragraph in the model of the working mother/father.  Bring forth your protector and host and talk to each other, while giving your protector the sounds that you hear, the sights that you see, the sensations of your chair.  Keep sharing, bringing your protector closer and closer to front, until you can stay totally front, but let your protector move one finger.  No need to fear, there is no losing control, you can stop the finger if you wish.  Try it, you still have the power to control your body, and take control back into your power at any time.  Co-con is a letting-go process.  It’s about trust.  That’s why you practice with your protector.

You already are co-con, but don’t realize it.  How does your protector know when you need protection?  He or she could sense it: in other words, was aware of front.  How did certain insiders know it was time to take control for certain kinds of situations?  They were paying attention.  Not 100% attention, but enough to know when to come.  Biologically, you are sharing the same brain, so this shouldn't be very surprising.  I'll explain more of what's actually going on psychologically and a bit biologically; after all, knowledge will empower you and you will understand the concept to be able to utilize it much more powerfully.

You can see where there is a slight thread of co-con already built in.  How does that, and blackouts, work?  When there is lack of awareness of what goes on in front when you are inside and thinking about it, that's complete blocking behavior.  You are thinking logical thought, which can only occur in consciousness.  It takes effort to block out sight, sound, touch, and all awareness of your environment.  On the other hand, if someone is deep inside, they are in the subconsciousness, which is not capable of much logical thought.  That is where blackouts happen.  One insider takes over front, which is consciousness, and whoever was there before falls unconscious.  The process is safe and painless, but does cause lots of problems functioning and maintaining responsibilities.  If there is no awareness of each other, then there can be lots of social awkwardness or even damage.  You see this in the books like Sybil and The Three Faces of Eve. 

The sub-con is where you have your inner environment.  As I explain in my system map, my inner world is not like an alternate reality; it is a complete imagination landscape, even if it was constructed unconsciously.  That in itself is a wonderful miracle, surely a divine blessing.  It's not real like out here in the real world, but it's real as in a real place that typically stays the same in your mind.  You can consciously go there and do things and talk with people, but it takes some effort or practice to maintain the delicate dissociative state and still be in control of front at the same time.  If you are going in and want to accomplish something important, like conferencing with the others, make plans, or whatever, make sure you set aside some time for meditation.  You have to have no pending appointments for quite some time; to become completely aware again and get your job inside accomplished, set aside at least 4 hours, preferably more. 

Note that some individuals have had trance/drugged states incorporated in their abuse experiences and have been made to do or experience things they didn't want.  This is not by the power of trance that forced these individuals to experience these things and comply- it was the brute force, violence, and threats of the abuser that did it.  Other people have been made to do much worse things against their will without the aid of trance or drugs, they were simply forced to comply against their will with those bullying tactics.  Typically the use of trance is combined with drugs (which includes alcohol) in ritual or ceremony settings, and only serves to make the victim feel delirious, dissociated, and it takes the fight out of the person.  It also makes the victim, upon waking the next day, unsure of the validity of his or her memories of the event.  It makes a legal case a lot harder to prove if the perpetrators were brought to justice and even the victim isn't sure of what happened or what was real.  Trance by itself won't work to cause this.  Examples to consider are date-rape drugs (that makes the victim senseless) and the use of rhythmic music and massive drug abuse in raves.

By the way, don't tell anyone at all except your therapist about your trance states or anything I revealed here.  Not only will normal people be weirded out and not understand, but they might think of you more as a schizophrenic that can't control your actions, or has lost personal accountability (people have used sleepwalking, which is a trance state, as a defense in murder trials).  And predators may feel you are easy prey.  Don't send out those vibes.

Another word for trance is dissociation, hence the term Dissociative Identity Disorder.  Because dissociation can be confusing for some, I will use the term trance for this purpose, since people are more familiar with what that word means.

Remember: trance = meditation = dissociation = hypnosis.  It is all exactly the same.  Empowerment comes along with demystifying these terms.

For both the co-con and blackout multiple, one of your goals is to minimize your trance state. 

For the co-con multiple, you will want to keep communication, in and out from front, to select or opportune times.  For example, refusing to listen to and blocking out the inner noise and voices until you have some quiet time at home.  Everyone inside must agree and cooperate with this.  Accidents do happen, don't get mad at anybody.  Some things you just can't contain.  For example, I am co-con but focus on the outer world when I'm out and about.  But, if there happens to be some ducklings that I see in my vicinity, I can't always contain an exclamation of "DUCKY!" bursting from my lips.  Sometimes I have to physically clap a hand over my mouth and hope I saw it before another inside did.  What can I say, they're fans of baby ducks.  I simply say inside, "Not now!" and move on.  But if I am frequently distracted by the going's-on inside, I have a problem functioning.

WARNING!:  A typical failure for con-con folks is to always block out what goes in inside and never let anyone have "body time" or to enjoy any of the good things life has to offer.  Scheduling is tricky, but don't expect once-a-week, one-hour intervals to always cut it.  If those inside get frustrated or denied, you have little chance of either integrating or remaining in control and co-con.  The others can stage a coup!  Expect to become a blackout multiple if the stifling behavior continues.

For the blackout multiple, you have no choice but to embrace those within and improve on internal communication until your thread of consciousness that binds you all becomes, well, an open room you can view any time you please.  This room is sometimes called "head space", but is more commonly known as your inner world.  Then, add what I've written to co-con's into your therapy as soon as you can.  The entire process is not an exact process, and I can't give any more information here for it.  This is personal, uncharted territory and you'll have to do it alone.  A therapist can help advise you on the way, but be wary if s/he says s/he knows exactly how to become co-con and you have to follow those directions exactly.  It is impossible to have all the answers, and even more if those answers fit every multiple.  After all, I didn't receive the "How To Be Multiple" book when I was born, did you?  We may have lots of similarities, but we all became what we are by ourselves, without any rules or guidance.

Upon discovering your inner world and those that make up your system, you might discover someone that plays the role of Gatekeeper or Inner Self-Helper (ISH for short).  There could be only one role, or both, or more than one person filling either role, or none at all.  There are no rules.  A Gatekeeper refers to an insider that controls who goes front and who stays in at any given time.  This role is usually filled when inner cooperation is not easy to accomplish, and since the automatic amnesiac influence of the unconsciousness is no longer needed or desired, a person does that duty.  An ISH can do the job as well, but more typically refers to someone who is a peacemaker for the system and is more attuned to inner workings than anyone else in the system.  This person works with the host, and sometimes with the therapist, to notify if something is amiss, such as someone inside behaving badly or needing help.

Above all, don't stuff yourself or your system into roles, or hurry to find people to fill these titles.  Titles are just used for some people to help figure out how their own system works.  This hurried method has, in the past, led to much suffering and confusion and years added to the healing process.  In example: imagine if an insider was mislabeled a protector and was forced to police and bring order to a group of strangers, while actually, this person held a lot of suffering and simply needed some time to heal and recover; or, an insider with little emotional stability was forced to become a host simply because medical professionals state the most depleted alter is the host.  It has happened, and the results were not good.